COCO BUTTERNUT by Joe R. Lansdale

Wow. When did Hap and Leonard books become cozy mysteries? In this new novella, Hap, Leonard, and Brett, are hired to deliver a ransom to the kidnappers of the prized mummified remains of a dead weenie dog named Coco Butternut.

I was hoping that this might be a quick, humorous but engaging story with our heroes but it was pretty forgettable and disheartening. It's sad that the quality of the Hap and Leonard books haven't really held up in the later ones. I loved the earlier books but I think it was a big mistake to make them private investigators. The decline happened sometime after the sixth book. Now the stories have a safe, comfortable feeling, which is the complete OPPOSITE of what I look for when reading. I don't want a cozy mystery.

I miss the danger, irreverent humor, hi-jinks, and heart of books like Savage Season and The Two-Bear Mambo, back when the characters acted in the gray area of the law, struggled for work and love, fighting rabid squirrels and getting themselves into other dangerous situations. But now that they work as boring-ass detectives and Hap has found love and a daughter, I'm just not interested anymore. Why should I care? They have everything they want so the story is over.

Hap and Leonard are obviously still lovable and I love Lansdale's work but right after reading this, I immediately forgot about what happened. And this is one of four or five Hap and Leonard books that Lansdale is coming out with this year, I'm sure to capitalize off the popularity of the Sundance show. I MIGHT read the Rusty Puppy novel because I'm intigued by the police brutality concept, but I fear that these books that are being churned out will just be more of the same mediocrity.

*Recieved an advance copy from Netgalley and Subterranean Press in exchange for an honest review*

GRADE: D

HONKY TONK SAMURAI by Joe R. Lansdale

*Book 11 of the Hap and Leonard series*

I'm disappointed. It might be my book series fatigue but the Hap and Leonard series seems like it's turned into an epic talk-fest. Because this novel was just released, I decided to jump ahead a couple books in the series and read it. The first four books in the series were exciting reads, with compelling plots, a great balance of both light-hearted humor and palpable danger, and tender bits sprinkled throughout. But as the series went on, it seemed like Lansdale started to depend solely on the humor and witty dialogue over developing a memorable story, losing the great balance that he started out with. Here, Hap and Leonard, and especially Jim Bob Luke, blabber on and on throughout the book, trying to make us laugh, which they succeed at for the most part. But while it's hard to resist the unending charm of Hap and Leonard as characters and Lansdale's talent with words, I immediately forgot what the plot was once I finished. I remember it had something to do with a mystery involving a tranny car salesman and redneck assassins that take their victims severed nutsacks as trophies...so it has that going for it!

GRADE: C+

CAPTAINS OUTRAGEOUS by Joe R. Lansdale

*Book 6 of the Hap and Leonard series*

Hap and Leonard have been in some pretty bad situations over the years but nothing can prepare them for the open seas. After Hap gets a sizeable reward for saving a teenage girl from a tweaked out murderer, he decides to go on a cruise ship vacation with Leonard. But rather than the restful trip they had planned, they end up on the cruise from hell and find themselves balls-deep in trouble as usual, when their ship leaves them stranded in a Mexican beachtown. 

One weird thing that stood out is that this novel felt like the most negative Hap and Leonard installment. With how much they constantly nagged, it felt like everything that the boys experienced was the absolute worst thing to ever happen to them: from the ocean, to the food on the cruise ship, to the hotel in Mexico and every person they meet along the way. In the past, our heroes have usually been pretty positive throughout everything, but here, both Hap and Leonard felt like those friends you have that just complain about everything under the sun. But, this book is ultimately a big improvement over the last one, Rumble Tumble, because of its much more engaging storyline. The story takes it's time to get going, but once it does it really takes off and you forget the grumbling first act. The action is clear and concise, many of the supporting characters really come into their own here, and the new characters really shine, including Leonard's new boyfriend John. Even with issues, it's hard to resist reading about the adventures of Hap and Leonard, and this novel is no exception.

GRADE: B-

RUMBLE TUMBLE by Joe R. Lansdale

*Book 5 of the Hap and Leonard series*

After a twister blew away his house, Hap is living on Leonard's couch, working as a bouncer, thinking about moving in with his girlfriend Brett, and balls-deep in his mid-life crisis. But when Brett asks for help rescuing her estranged daughter who's turned to whoring and seems to be in danger with the wrong crowd, Hap puts on his white knight helmet, and the three head to the town of Hootie Hoot, Oklahoma, and equally dangerous Mexican border towns to track her down.

Size and strength didn't intimidate Herman. As he told me later, no matter how big they grow, balls and eyes stay soft and a tire tool has no friends.

Every installment of the Hap and Leonard series has been exciting entertainment, guaranteed for a heap of chuckles! Although this one delivers, it doesn't really stand out on its own the way the other books have. It doesn't really add much to the series, doesn't try anything new, and felt a bit more long-winded this time. But it's still lots of fun, and involves shotguns, armadillos, biker gangs, midgets with attitudes and prairie dog hunting, so fans of the series, of Lansdale, and his great dialogue won't be too disappointed. If I hadn't read the first four great novels, I would have probably loved this one more. On it's own though, it's a good thriller and solid entertainment.

"As Leonard has pointed out, I'm like the guy goes out in the yard and steps in a pile of horse shit, and where he or someone else would say, goddamn, I've stepped in horse shit, me, I'm looking for the pony."

GRADE: B-

BAD CHILI by Joe R. Lansdale

* Book 4 of the Hap and Leonard series *

I started reading this series earlier this year, but Hap and Leonard already feel like a couple of old

friends! In this wild installment, while Hap is stuck in the hospital awaiting rabies shots after a run-in with a crazed squirrel and shitty health insurance, he discovers that not only has Leonard gone missing, but Leonard is also the lead suspect in the murder of Horse Dick McNee, a biker that stole his boyfriend Raul. In his quest to clear Leonard of Horse Dick's murder, he will discover a plot to steal grease from restaurants, meet a new love in his life, and risk forfeiting what measly insurance he has!

"The Sound of Music, I'd rather have my dick nailed to a burning building than have to sit through that shit again, and I don't care if the popcorn is free and you're giving me each bite with your vagina."

This just might be the funniest book of the series so far. The opening chapter of the squirrel attack, the section with the job interview at the chicken-processing plant, or anything involving Charlie Blank, are just some of the sections in this one that caused some serious out-loud laughter. But, this one isn't just all chuckles and political-incorrectness. It's also just as violent and menacing as the others, with some really stomach-churning bodily-harm this time. I also love the network of friends that Hap and Leonard are managing to collect; the supporting characters are just as entertaining as the two stars themselves. I'm happy that Hap has met the dirty-mouthed, kind-hearted nympho Brett, who seems to be a perfect match for love-lorn Hap ("She had legs that would have made the Pope abuse himself in the Vatican toilet."). Hopefully we see more of her, as well as more of the private dick Jim Bob Luke. And as usual, the book is filled with Lansdale's pitch perfect prose and genuinely insightful looks at life that really help to balance these stories, making for some entertaining reading!

"Life's like a bowl of chili in a strange café. Sometimes it's pretty tasty and spicy. Other times, it tastes like shit."

GRADE: B+

THE TWO-BEAR MAMBO by Joe R. Lansdale

GRADE: B+

*Book 3 of the Hap & Leonard series*

Another great adventure for my buddies Hap Collins and Leonard Pine! Leonard has a new boyfriend but is still surly, having just burnt down the neighborhood crack house for the third Christmas Eve in a row. But to stay out of jail this time, Leonard and Hap agree to help their friend Marvin locate his girlfriend Florida Grange, who happens to be Leonard's old lawyer and Hap's former sweet thang. The stakes are pretty high though this go round because Florida, an attractive black woman, was last seen in Grovetown, which is not only being threatened by heavy rains and flooding, but which also happens to be the most scummy hotbucket of racism this side of Texas, which doesn't bode well for an ex-hippie and his black, gay best friend with a hot temper. 

"Hell, I can't figure Raul. He's all mopey and shit. Today is the anniversary of when we met, and he wanted us to go out to dinner, go to a movie, do some serious fucking. I wanted us to do that too, but I didn't want it getting in the way of me killing somebody."

Lansdale does it once again, creating a thoroughly entertaining country romp, that's well-balanced with great dialogue, action, laugh-out-loud comedy, surprising insight and depth, and even a somber bleakness this time as our heroes realize that they may have stepped into some serious shit that they might not be able to handle. Again, there's a great cast of colorful characters that really stand out (Charlie really flew off the page this time) and in three books I've developed a really fondness for Hap and Leonard, I don't want them hurt, and I'm invested in their adventures. Mr. Lansdale created something special with this series and these characters so far.

"No one is anything better than human. Just some humans are better humans than others, but the best humans are still just human."

MUCHO MOJO by Joe R. Lansdale

GRADE: B+

*Book 2 in the Hap and Leonard series*

While the first great book in this series, Savage Season, focuses a lot on Hap Collins's backstory, this second installment focuses a bit more on Leonard's past and the town that he grew up in. Hap owes Leonard after getting him involved in the violent events of the first book so he agrees to accompany his buddy to the funeral of Leonard's estranged Uncle Chester. After the funeral, the boys are cleaning up Chester's old, run-down house and discover a skeleton and a stash of kiddie porn stuffed into a box under the floorboards. Leonard wants to learn the truth, so the two decide to try detective work on for size and get to the bottom of it all.

Once again, the two good ol' boys are a joy to read. I would read anything with these characters. At this point, if one of the subsequent books in the series turns out to be a 700-page tome about Hap and Leonard sitting in a boat the whole time trying to catch a catfish, I'd still read it in a heartbeat. Lansdale is a stunning writer. He has a real knack for finding the perfect combination of tone in his work (at least in the three books I've read so far). He's able to balance tender moments of real connection between friends with intriguing mystery, and with the perfect blend of humor. The books are downright funny sometimes without feeling forced. The humor seems to come naturally and the book never feels like it's trying to hard to be in the quirky humor crime genre. I think that's what I love about the characters Hap and Leonard, the balance and the ease of their characterization. They're funny while not trying to be and they're tough dudes while not having to be hard-boiled. I mean Hap actually seeks out non-alcoholic beer!

Anyway, this is another great Southern thriller by Joe R. Lansdale, who really is an awesome storyteller. I'm glad I still have a plethora of books written by him to choose from!

SAVAGE SEASON by Joe R. Lansdale

GRADE: B+

*Book 1 of the Hap and Leonard series*

I really loved The Thicket last year when I chose it to quench my thirst for a good Western read. I was impressed by how engaging the writing was. I decided this year to jump into more books by author Joe Lansdale, and I thought a good start would be his popular Texas crime series featuring his characters Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. This first novel in the series lived up to my lofty expectations!

Hap & Leonard are best buddies, are minding their own business and shooting some skeet in Hap's backyard, when a cute blond heartbreaker walks back into Hap's life, offering more of that sweet love that he remembers fondly. But like any experienced femme fatale knows, most human men would agree to any post-coital request no matter how stupid. So in bed, he agrees to help her and her new man find a treasure trove of cash lost after a bank heist years ago. 

 "I didn't want to be anywhere near Trudy right then. I had a hunch she would have harsh words to say about me and Leonard, and I wasn't up to it. I didn't want her to get me near a bed either. She could really talk in bed, and if she talked long enough and moved certain parts of her body just right, I might agree to have Leonard shot at sunset."

Lansdale is one of those writers that makes it seem so easy. He manages to find that balance between economic storytelling and lyrical, expressive prose; a balance that my favorite writers possess. It makes for a captivating read that's entertaining and still leaves an impression. In just this one book, Hap and Leonard become two of the most enjoyable protagonists I've come across in a crime series. They seem like two guys I'd like to be friends with and so I would be willing to go on any adventure with them in the future. In this way, they're right up there with Walter Mosley's Easy Rawlins and Dennis Lehane's Kenzie and Gennaro as some of my favorite crime heroes. Likeable, everyday people caught up in dark, extraordinary situations, where they have to step up and be heroes. Hap and Leonard are so different on the surface but are perfect compliments for each other, making for hilarious banter between them that makes the proceedings that much more enjoyable. Can't wait to see what craziness they get into next.

"Yea, that money could make up for a lot of missed ambitions, but without it we were nothing more than a batch of losers, standing cold and silly, empty-handed on the muddy bank of an unnamed creek."